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How can I improve my writing?
I stood on shaky legs in the middle of the abandoned street. Not twenty feet away was a black suited man with a gun. My gun was in my holster, but that was miles away for all the good it could do me. "Are you ready to die, kid?" The sinister looking man asked with a gravelly voice. A wind came and blew dust up around us. The black clouds overhead piled higher and higher. The man advanced slowly. I stepped back some. A door slammed loudly on my right. The suited man turned. I didn't. In a flash my gun was up and firing. He was jerked back as the lead bullets tore through the suit, which turned into a bright red as he fell. I walked over to him. His brown eyes were ablaze with hatred. He opened his mouth to speak, but words never came out. His neck relaxed, and his head fell back into the dust.
What's wrong with it?
How can I make it better?
Does it flow?
currently in my college english course we are learning about monotone writing and how to liven it up.
for example we read a paragraph that reads like this
This sentence has five words. This sentence is five too. These sentences sound very monotonous. Now. Watch what happens as the length of the sentences change. A rhythm is formed on the page and the writing becomes more lively.
"The man advanced slowly. I stepped back some." -- for instance this could be combined into one sentence using a comma and become less monotonous.
I like your writing style though, good description and it does flow pretty well.
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