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Can I just tell you what kills me inside?
everyday I look at myself in the mirror and see nothing but this ugly worthless piece of c*** Im so depressed and today I ate so much I locked myself in the bathroom and started making mysaelf throw up and it felt so good to eat its so comforting and when i thre it up i felt secured I felt that i wouldnt have to worry.I loved it and it kills me that I do and I have this craving to do it again.my friends my family they dont understand they never will because this depression,anxiety leads me to thinking about suicide I wonder what if I just take that knife and stab myself I wouldnt feel this pain that o always cry about.I scream I yell I hide myself by smiling.GOSH GOD PLEASE JUST HELP ME I WANNA BE HAPPY I WANNA FEEL SECURED I WANNA FEEL BEAUTIFUL.im 112 pounds 5'2 and everyone tells me i dont have to lose weight but I feel like layers of fat is hanging from my leg.ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know what a lot of people are going to be telling you is, "you need to talk to someone." But you on the other hand, you don't feel like you can talk to anyone. we all get that feeling sometimes, when we feel like we are alone in the world and no body understands us. But you must always remember that there are people that love you, and care about you. Even the people answering your question, and showing sympathy towards you, love and care for you, even without knowing you. You are only 112pounds and so what if you are just 5'2, i bet you are such a beautiful person. Do not let this world and media create an image for you, an image that portrays girls as Barbie dolls. There is no joy for you or for your family in suicide. You are beautiful just the way you are. And always remember that If you couldn't or never would kill someone, why be a murderer and kill yourself.
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